In an effort to boost the ailing dollar vis-a-vis the ever-healthy DM,
President Clinton, in cooperation with VAN2, has declared today 
"National Trade-In-Your-Volkswagen Day".  The announcement came early
this morning from the breakfast nook in the Oval Room.  "Don't miss this
opportunity to get rid of the various Volkswagen products that may be
cluttering up your garage and driveway," said Clinton in a prepared
release.  Clinton promised significant tax breaks to any U.S. citizen
who trades in any Volkswagen vehicle in exchange for an American-made
one by midnight tonight.  VAN2--Volkswagens Are Nightmares To Work On--
is a Tuscaloosa, Alabama based organization.