

| Subject: | Fwd: FW: Zen and The Art of Whatever (Friday NVC) |
| From: | Sam Scholten |
| Date: | Fri, 19 Jul 2002 08:50:03 -0700 |
Proverb #2 especially applies to pre-'72 Bus owners... :) > > > Zen and the Art of Whatever > > > > > > > 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. > Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. > Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the > hell alone. > > > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a > broken fan belt > and a leaky tire. > > 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're > going to steal your > neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. > > 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you > aren't getting any. > > 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, > you can't be promoted. > > 6. No one is listening until you fart. > > 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone > else. > > 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > > > 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try > missing a couple > of car payments. > > 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a > mile in their shoes. > That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile > away and you have > their shoes. > > 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not > for you. > > 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. > Teach him how to fish, > and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all > day. > > 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that > person again, it was > probably worth it. > > 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to > remember anything. > > 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the > windshield. > > 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. > > > 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a > lot of that comes from > bad judgment. > > 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold > it in half and put it > back in your pocket. > > 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side > and a dark side, and > it holds the universe together > > 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. > Neither one works. > > 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much > when your lips are moving. > > 23. Experience is something you don't get until just > after you need it. > > 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. > > 25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get > slapped on our ass ... > then things get worse. > > > __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes http://autos.yahoo.com
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