try this for portable insatnt hot showers.  www.zodi.com.  Apparently no duct tape included, but they seem pretty cool.  Also If you check out the sportsmobile site, you will see how they make a pretty cool temporary shower inside the vans they build.  I am sure one can be made easily enuf.
'Course the true answer might be just to win enuf at the tables that you can keep you wife in the manner to which she would like to become accustomed.