

| Subject: | Vanagon engine transplants |
| Date: | Mon, 17 Jun 96 14:58:05 +0200 |
>>I hope you all get a laugh out of this story from Mark Elliot in Nigeria! >>>>> >>>>>Subject: An interesting news item.... >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> You may know about the Darwin Awards - an annual honor given to the >>>>>> person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing >>>>>> themselves >>>>>> in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was a >>>>>> fellow who managed to kill himself by toppling a Coke machine upon >>>>>> himself while attempting to tip a free soda out of it. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> This year's nominee: >>>>>> >>>>>> The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal >>>>>> embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the >>>>>> apex of >>>>>> a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, >>>>>> but it >>>>>> was a car. The lab finally figured out what had happened. >>>>>> >>>>>> It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (jet >>>>>> assisted take off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used >>>>>> to give >>>>>> heavy military transport planes an extra push for taking off from >>>>>> short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert >>>>>> and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached >>>>>> the JATO >>>>>> unit to his car, jumped in, got some speed and fired off the JATO. >>>>>> >>>>>> The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the >>>>>> 1967 Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 >>>>>> miles >>>>>> from the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched >>>>>> and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating >>>>>> properly, >>>>>> would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the >>>>>> Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 miles per hour and >>>>>> continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The >>>>>> driver, >>>>>> soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually >>>>>> reserved for dog-fighting F-14 fighterjocks under full afterburner, >>>>>> basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder >>>>>> of the >>>>>> trip. However, the automobile apparently remained on the straight >>>>>> highway for about 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied >>>>>> and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick >>>>>> rubber marks on the road surface. It then became airborne for an >>>>>> additional 1.4 miles and impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 >>>>>> feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep. >>>>>> >>>>>> Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable, however, small >>>>>> fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and >>>>>> fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris >>>>>> believed to be the steering wheel. >>>>>> >>>>>> Not the brightest guy to leave our presence. Oh well, more beer for >>>>>> the rest of us. >>>>> >>>>>Dave
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