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Subject:Vanagon engine transplants
Date:Mon, 17 Jun 96 14:58:05 +0200

>>I hope you all get a laugh out of this story from Mark Elliot  in Nigeria!
>>>>>
>>>>>Subject: An interesting news item....
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>     You may know about the Darwin Awards - an annual honor given to the
>>>>>>     person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing
>>>>>>     themselves
>>>>>>     in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was a
>>>>>>     fellow who managed to kill himself by toppling a Coke machine upon
>>>>>>     himself while attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>     This year's nominee:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>     The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
>>>>>>     embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the
>>>>>>     apex of
>>>>>>     a curve.  The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash,
>>>>>>     but it
>>>>>>     was a car.  The lab finally figured out what had happened.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>     It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (jet
>>>>>>     assisted take off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used
>>>>>>     to give
>>>>>>     heavy military transport planes an extra push for taking off from
>>>>>>     short airfields.  He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert
>>>>>>     and found a long, straight stretch of road.  Then he attached
>>>>>>     the JATO
>>>>>>     unit to his car, jumped in, got some speed and fired off the JATO.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>     The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the
>>>>>>     1967 Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0
>>>>>>     miles
>>>>>>     from the crash site.  This was established by the prominent scorched
>>>>>>     and melted asphalt at that location.  The JATO, if operating
>>>>>>     properly,
>>>>>>     would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the
>>>>>>     Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 miles per hour and
>>>>>>     continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.  The
>>>>>>     driver,
>>>>>>     soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually
>>>>>>     reserved  for dog-fighting F-14 fighterjocks under full afterburner,
>>>>>>     basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder
>>>>>>     of the
>>>>>>     trip.  However, the automobile apparently remained on the straight
>>>>>>     highway for about 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied
>>>>>>     and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick
>>>>>>     rubber marks on the road surface. It then became airborne for an
>>>>>>     additional 1.4 miles and impacted the cliff face at a height of 125
>>>>>>     feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>     Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable, however, small
>>>>>>     fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and
>>>>>>     fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris
>>>>>>     believed to be the steering wheel.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>     Not the brightest guy to leave our presence. Oh well, more beer for
>>>>>>     the rest of us.
>>>>>
>>>>>Dave