well, it's almost Friday anyway ...

              HOW COLD IS IT?

   An annotated thermometer in degrees F.

   60    - Californians put on sweaters
           (if they can find one in their wardrobe)

   50    - Miami residents turn on the heat

   40    - You can see your breath
           Californians shiver uncontrollably
           Minnesotans go swimming

   35    - Italian cars don't start

   32    - Water freezes

   30    - You plan your vacation to Australia
           Minnesotans put on T-shirts
           Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
           British cars don't start

   25    - Boston water freezes
           Californians weep pitiably
           Minnesotans eat ice cream
           Canajuns go swimming

   20    - You can hear your breath
           Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
           New York City water freezes
           Miami residents plan vacation further South

   15    - French cars don't start
           You plan a vacation in Mexico
           Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

   10    - Too cold to ski
           You need jumper cables to get the car going

    5    - You plan your vacation in Houston
           American cars don't start

    0    - Alaskans put on T-shirts
           Too cold to skate

   -10   - German cars don't start
           Eyes freeze shut when you blink

   -15   - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
           Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
           Miami residents cease to exist

   -20   - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
           Politicians actually do something about the homeless
           Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
           Japanese cars don't start

   -25   - Too cold to think
           You need jumper cables to get the driver going

   -30   - You plan a two week hot bath
           The Mighty Monongahela freezes
           Swedish cars don't start

   -40   - Californians disappear
           Minnesotans button top button
           Canajuns put on sweaters
           Your car helps you plan your trip South

   -50   - Congressional hot air freeze
           Alaskans close the bathroom window

   -80   - Hell freezes over
           Polar bears move south