as we near the holiday season, lots of astrology crap shows up ...
seems to be moreso than usual. so i present the following for your
perusal ...

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Road & Track
People, Places + Things
April 2007

 What's your Sign?

 After reviewing 160,000 ancient claims over a three-year period,
 Suncorp Metway Ltd. found that Geminis were the worst drivers,
 followed by Taurus and Pisces.

 The study also revealed that Capricorns are the best drivers,
 followed by Sagittarians and Scorpios.  A similar study by a
 British insurance company found that Leos reported the highest
 number of accidental damage claims and, along with Cancers, are
 twice as likely to submit claims as Geminis, Pisces, and
 Sagittarians.
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now, for those of us who don't keep up with how the stars are running
our lives, ;)  here's the list of your signs and birth dates:
(from www.astrology-online.com and other such drivel)

  Capricorn   -> December 23  - January 20
  Aquarius    -> January 21   - February 19
  Pisces      -> February 20  - March 20
  Aries       -> March 21     - April 20
  Taurus      -> April 21     - May 21
  Gemini      -> May 22       - June 21
  Cancer      -> June 22      - July 22
  Leo         -> July 23      - August 21
  Virgo       -> August 22    - September 23
  Libra       -> September 24 - October 23
  Scorpio     -> October 24   - November 22
  Sagittarius -> November 23  - December 22

although i was told by a nice ol' planetarium fellow that the signs
were all wrong ... that in the 2000 years since that mess really took
hold on folks, the stars have all shifted ... so if you think you're
a Capricorn, you're really a Sagittarius. ;)

so me? i'm a Caprittaricorn. :)
that's a half-goat half-man, with a slingshot ...
you know, a poor little lamb that has gone astray; baaaaah, baaaaah,
baaaaaah.
sort of a Wiffenpoof with an attitude. ;)
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all of which brings us to THE QUESTION:

do buses have personalities that match the zodiac,
according to their build-date? :)
of course, they do!! and here's how it works:

Zodiac/Astrology  for Buses

12 signs ...48 weeks
it is the week from the start of calendar year
skip 4 weeks in august when the whole country goes on holiday

Sign of the Horn
week 1 through week 4
  cranks every time, laughs at your driving (behind your back),
  but just knows that you're gonna hit something one day.

Sign of the Water Pump
(in aircooled-land, this is known as Sign of the Oil Pump)
week 5 through 8
  couldn't care less if you hit something.
  might crank. or it might not. comes up with a new
  problem every few months.

Sign of the Radiator
(in aircooled-land, this is known as Sign of the Oil Cooler)
week 9 through 12
  scared of all drivers, wishes it was a Porsche,
  but can be talked into long trips, and afterward is glad
  it went.

Sign of the Bumper
week 13 through week 16
  always ready to go on trips, even with low fuel and
  without checking the tire pressure. will sometimes
  get you into trouble. similar to Labrador Retrievers

Sign of the Transmission
(doesn't seem to matter whether manual or automatic)
week 17 through week 20
  patient with all drivers, loves people,
  but jealous of other cars. desires lots of attention
  and accessories.

Sign of the Wheel
week 21 through week 24
  can be used for camping, cargo, taxi, dump truck,
  and anything else you can think of. thinks of
  drivers as a necessary evil, but gets a bit nervous
  around a full load of people.

Sign of the Rust
(sometimes called Sign of the Body or Chassis)
week 25 through week 28
  bonds with drivers, sometimes overemotional about
  them.  people find it difficult to sell these buses.

Sign of the Engine (or Motor)
week 29 through week 32
  'comfortable', faithful. sometimes can be
  condescending to non-owners. insistant that buses
  are the only useful vehicles and doesn't like
  to be garaged with other cars.

Factory Setup/Changeover
week 33 through week 36
  any buses built during this period are considered
  to be under the Sign of the Wrench (which is not
  technically part of a bus) -
  confused, unsure, and frightened of drivers and
  other cars, especially on highways. wanders in its
  lane. sulks and sometimes refuses to start.

Sign of the Windshield
week 37 through week 40
  shy. doesn't like to drive on crowded highways.
  rush hour creates driving problems that can't be
  recreated later. always thinks it needs a wash and wax.

Sign of the Suspension
week 41 through week 44
  easily charms non-owners and passengers.
  thinks it is a Porsche.

Sign of the Shift Linkage
(in trailer circles, this is known as Sign of the Trailer Hitch)
week 45 through week 48
  loves to be driven fast, hates other cars.
  hides problems from mechanics.

Sign of the Steering
week 49 through week 52
  loves hippies and grateful dead music.
  sees the world as one big highway.

and for those of you who also factor in the day of the week as
meaningful and significant in the prescribing of personality
traits to such inanimate objects as our buses ...
you know like the old poem "Monday's child is fair of face, " ...
well, here it is for buses:

Monday's bus was made apace,
   ruled by the Moon
   lundi, Montag

Tuesday's bus will win the race,
   ruled by Mars
   mardi, Dienstag

Wednesday's bus has far to go,
   ruled by Mercury
   mercredi, Mittwoch

Thursday's bus has loads to tow,
   ruled by Jupiter
   jeudi, Donnerstag

Friday's bus is fair and true,
   ruled by Venus
   vendredi, Freitag

Saturday's bus has naught to do,
   ruled by Saturn
   samedi, Samstag/Sonnabend

But a bus that's made on the Sabbath Day
Just doesn't exist -- that's all I say.
   ruled by the Sun
   dimanche, Sonntag

insightful commentary always welcome. :)

Hahppie Frydaye, y'all!!  may all the kudzu grow in your neighbor's
yard. :)
unca joel

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